That was an interesting day.

For the first time since Brandon, I could think of no words to touch the way I felt. There are still none, so the best I can do to explain is to tell you what happened.

When Maggie's voice rumbled through the piece of plastic in my hand, something in me dropped dead. Excuse the cliche, but my heart stopped beating. I can usually fight those obnoxious little balls of saltwater for a while, but not this time. It was coming with a will of its own, so I ran. Suddenly my life's ambition was to keep walking. I had to know if you were just gossiping, Maggie. Mr. Austin would either tell me truth or tell me he couldn't, but he wasn't going to lie.

I broke a couple of my own rules. First being letting the fear sink into me and take over, second freaking out in front of other people. I lost it. I don't have any reason to lose it more than the rest of you. It wasn't my right to make this my own crusade and pretend like I was alone. I tend to be self-righteous like that.

So the sunshine beaming on this little suburban breakdown I hosted in my room is this: I get to hear you again. It will take a long time for me to consider saying anything about it, but I'm just incandescent to hear you again. You didn't turn me away so, for that, I thank you. I know you haven't been completely destroyed. Mr. Ottman had me scared for a moment.

Bottom line to those who read this (since I know you care like me without the lack of self-control), he'll be alright.