Alexis

I made it through the ceremony without a tear shed. I made it through the after-party with hardly a tear shed.

I sat, being squashed between friends, on a lumpy couch a room away from the loud music and ecstatic dancers. Laughter bubbled in my throat as we merrily rough-housed on the couch. Tears did not even pass through my mind.
A pretend fury towards Bess for her attempt and success at tickling me had me focused in her direction. When I turned back away from her, Alexis was kneeling before my seat with stained eyes. No words had been spoken, I just ceased what I was in the midst of and wrapped her in my arms. Words were and always had been unnecessary since the dawning of our friendship in kindergarten. Her misplaced visit disappeared shortly.
Only when the after-party of our graduation ended did I search for another of Alexis's hugs. This would be a good-bye-and-have-a-good-time-in-Florida hug upon my departure.
As I stepped into a different room, Alexis came bolting up to me and strangled me in one of these routine hugs. When we parted, her eyes had new tears spilling from them. There was a moment that stretched onward as I saw my best friend's beautiful face and watched it grow from that of a rolly-polly toddler to the young woman she is now. In the reflection of her eyes I saw myself do the same. I didn't want to look away and I suddenly knew what all this was. This was our last night on common grounds together and we took a long look at each other, soaking in what we saw and branding ourselves with the memory.
I will never forget the look Alexis gave me, and I know it marks the ending of everything we know and everything we love. I love her more than I could love any sister of mine, for has been more wonderful and more meaningful than a sister. We have grown much closer than sisters, so LYLAS just doesn't cut it anymore.
The tears came and the tears are coming and it is the most painful thing I think I have ever felt. I miss her so much because, though that night is also this night, I know we have lost each other in a dramatic wave of fate and it hurts beyond hurt itself.